Fictograd Championship of Books

2021 Style

First year of a new decade, means it’s time to try something new.

I never find ‘best of such-and-such-year of such-and-such-things’ all that helpful because they’re always about things I haven’t actually seen or read. Reflecting on this, I thought, ‘why not make my own ‘best of 2021’ list? surely people will find that unique?’ I, also, at nearly the same time, started watching the All Time Film Ranking Greatest Best Movie Pokemon Fortnite Spider-man Elsa Makeup Tutorial Crisis Actors Fave Five Films with Mikey Tier List, and said, ‘that’s even more unique? i should do that?’ And here we are—the official announcement of the 2021 Fictograd Championship of Books!

I can only pass judgements on what I’ve read, so I compiled a list below every book I read in one form or another over the course of 2021. I chose ten categories to give each title an out-of-ten rating, then combined the scores and sorted out the top 14. These, along with 2 wildcard options, will advance to a bracket-style tournament, books going up head-to-head in single elimination bouts of me thinking really hard about each one. It’s a contest so exciting it will have everyone saying, ‘is this a thing now? really? this?’

Before I reveal this year’s entrants, let’s do a rundown of the categories. The most important thing to note is that the scores are all based purely on what I was feeling while thinking about the book for about a minute—that being said, I’m actually pretty interested in the results.

Alrighty—categories:

Gut
Is what it is—my basic gut check. Did I like this book? A lot? Or does it make my tummy feel kinda scummy? Did I just eat too many funions? I ask tough questions, folks.

Cover
They say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but as someone in the publishing industry, I think you absolutely should.

Voice
How nice is this book to read? What does it sound like, in my head? What’s that ringing noise that won’t go away?

Literary Value
What does this contribute to the canon? If a new canon were to be chosen today, would this book appear anywhere in it?

Characters
How good are the characters? Do the likable characters earn their place in the reader’s heart? Are the antagonists appropriately sinister?

Plot
How good is this plot, actually? Is it engaging? Is it twisty? Does anything actually happen?

Mass Appeal
My tastes are pretty esoteric, but what about the hoi poloi? There’s a lot of reasons to not like a book, but that’s just… like… my opinion, man.

Memorability
Is what it says it is.

Uniquity
My made up word because I don’t like “Uniqueness,” but it means the same thing.

Politics
The dumbest of categories (and one of them is a made up word), what do I think, overall, of the book’s politics?

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Brief Words for the Losers

The Complete Manual of Wordworking, by Jackson, Day, and Jennings

The fact that I gave this the lowest score is not an indictment of the book. If you can only buy one woodworking book, the Complete Manual is the way to go. But, in terms of what this contest finds important—it’s boring as dirt.

The Anarchist Toolchest, by Christopher Schwarz

I almost cancelled this entire project when I realized I would have to admit I got suckered in by this book. I guess I could have just omitted it, but we’re committed to honesty here in Fictograd. Anyways, the worst 40 bucks I’ve ever spent. Markets itself as a book for beginning woodworkers, has a line, “Anyone reading this book should already know how to do this.” Comes away with a whopping six “1s”, and I stand by every one of them. If you can buy any woodworking book you want, don’t buy this book.

The Greatest Game Ever Played, by Mark Frost

I’m only about 75% certain I actually read this book this year. A childhood favorite,  I think I picked this up to feed my book addiction sometime in January. Will probably always hold a small spot in my heart, but held up against some of the other books I read this year, this one never stood a chance.

Foundation, by Isaac Asimov

I got the audio book for this after watching the first couple episodes of the Apple TV series. Neither impressed me.

Anarchy, by Errico Malatesta

Yeah, I was exposed to some theory books this year, this being one of many that I had forgotten crossed my ear canals in a podcast. I think the fact that I remember so little of it was more due to the reader than the work itself, but still didn’t stand much of a chance in this contest.

A Heartbeat and a Guitar, by Antonio D’Ambrosio

First book eliminated with a score of at least 40, which I would probably describe as feeling ‘meh’ about it. I think ultimately the reason this book isn’t making it into the final tournament is that it’s a book about musicology and I am not a musicologist. It markets itself as a history of Johnny Cash, Peter La Farge, the album Bitter Tears, and their relation to the movement for Native rights. I think there is more to unpack on the subject of Cash and La Farge both dubiously claiming Native heritage to justify their role in Native activism, but this book was not eliminated because of its politics.

The Conquest of Bread, by Peter Kropotkin

The title makes me hungry, the cover is one of the better ones I’ve ever seen, the ideas stick with me, but only so many theory books can make it into the final rounds, and this is another that couldn’t quite cut it.

Fighting for Ourselves

Another podcast theory book, another one I honestly didn’t pay as much attention to as the others.

But What if We’re Wrong?, by Chuck Klosterman

We’re starting to get into books I thought would make it and am a little surprised did not. This was a fairly interesting book done-in by my preference for fiction. On the other hand, he spends much of the book making much ado about hedgehogs, then reveals at the end that his original story in which he brought up hedgehogs couldn’t have actually been a hedgehog because hedgehogs do not live in his part of the world, and then basically shrugs at the camera. Involved in this also is his apparent belief that in the phrase, “the fox has many tricks, but the hedgehog has one good one,” the hedgehog’s trick is collecting fruit off the ground from fallen trees. Not, you know, the spikes. I guess that sort of speaks for itself.

A Promised Land, by Barack Obama

The issue is that in my line of work, I read way too many autobiographies, to the point that I cannot find any single autobiography, including the third by the first African-American President of the United States, original. The author lays out an interesting perspective on the role of President in American society—seeing it, almost, as if he was the ‘Story-teller in Chief,’ especially on the campaign trail—charged with hearing the stories of his fellow Americans, then turning those into meaningful policy articulated through retelling their stories back to them. Ultimately, however, the conciliatory tone with which the President reflects on his first four years falls prey to the same trap laid by an opposition party completely uninterested in reconciliation. It’ll be interesting to see how President Obama reflects on his last 4 years in office and, maybe, the subsequent 4 years between the end of his term and the release of this book, but for now, this book doesn’t make the cut.

The Hundred Years’ War on Palestine, by Rashid Khalidi

One of the only books to not make the cut that I’ll still, unequivocally, recommend everyone go read if you haven’t already. A Palestinian, the author lays the foundation for a re-understanding of Levantine history through the perspective of its residents. I almost wanted to reconfigure the rules of this contest so this book would survive the cut because I wanted to discuss it—alas, we shall have to push on. Free Palestine.

Pedagogy of the Oppressed, by Paulo Freire

A final controversial elimination—a book that should be discussed and understood, but likely would have gone up against a fiction book actually from 2021 in the first round and lost.

Movie Theater Wild Card
House of Gucci, directed by Ridley Scott

Look, no disrespect to House of Gucci, but I only saw two movies in the theater this year, and no movie was going to win head to head against the Green Knight. Especially not Ridley Scott doing anything set after the 14th century. However, Lady Gaga’s closing line: “You can call me Gucci”—iconic.

Streaming Wild Card
Dune, directed by Denis Villeneuve

I think the book Dune was one complete story for a reason—dividing it in half leaves a story that is flat, characters that have no chance for growth, twists and revelations made too quickly and without the fanfare due them. If only the movie-going public could sit still for 6 hours.

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With all that out of the way, it’s time to do it: here now is the official 2021 Fictograd Championship of Books bracket:

The first round will drop on New Year’s Eve (theoretically). In the meantime, fill out a bracket and share it online using the hashtag #FCoB2021.

Happy Holiday’s and an even happier New Year.

January 1st 2022 Update

Oof.

I did just write that.

So, obviously this is not a post judging 8 books in a head-to-head competition. That is almost done—the first one, Western Round 1. It’ll be out when it’s out.

However, I today need to update the bracket in light of two things.

One, I did not actually complete Anarchism and Other Essays by Emma Goldman.

Two, I remembered that I forgot I read Wanderers by Chuck Wendig. By happy happenstance, it scored exactly the same as Anarchism and Other Essays, saving me from doing any actual extra work. Continuing in that tradition, I’m going to only say now that, above, for every instance that you read, Anarchism and Other Essays by Emma Goldman, you should instead read, Wanderers by Chuck Wendig.

That’s all. Happy New Year!

1. *= I haven’t actually finished the book at time of upload, but I’m pretty sure I will by the end of the year.